Week 16 – Betty Jarra

Posted: July 17, 2011 in Betty Jarra, Week 16

Flying lesson 16

Wondering whether it’s necessary to always plan in advance or if it’s possible to carry out these flying lessons spontaneously without “forgetting” them. Have an idea of ​​when to walk but then I decide to just let things be and whenever time is right then it is right.
Wash and fold laundry, answer emails and organise the kitchen.
Everything will be all right if I don’t think too much.

So with confidence I walk into the fog!

Finally walking across the bridge again, it’s been a while. It feels perfectly OK to walk away from the island downhill.
Just walking, not slow, not fast, just walking. When I’ve been walking the whole bridge and continue uphill I realise that I probably need to repeat it again, that this is a gift of love to myself.
Gift, gift, gift, gift, gift, gift, gift!

What if I instead was walking this walk for someone else, if I was helping someone to walk from my island to the city, then this walk would be a pleasure the whole way.
I wouldn’t hesitate or have any problems at all doing it …… for almost anyone. Just very hard to do it for myself.
As if it’s not really necessary, that it’s good enough anyway, why the need to walk as well?
I can feel the difference between the two in my body. The positive energy that comes from helping someone compared to the stubborn refusal, the negative slow, replacing that energy when switching and replacing, anyone with myself.

I decide to stop thinking and continue walking as meditation. Looking far ahead on the pavement stripes and patterns, without thinking directly of them, just enough awareness to be able to continue walking straight on. Breathing in and out and after a while I let out a monotonous low tone at each exhalation. It helps me to not focus on anything other than to move forward. Quite relaxing. I come to a rather complicated intersection and after that it’s difficult to return to the same monotone walking.

I’m finally in town and it feels perfectly OK to have been walking the whole way. I’ve done it quite often before so I’m not surprised. I still buy myself a new bus pass so I don’t get angry about having to walk again but instead can keep on walking anytime because I want to.

How easy it is to fool defiance!

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Comments
  1. sue OConnor says:

    nicely done!!

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