Week 14 – Amber Perkins

Posted: July 4, 2011 in Amber Perkins, Week 14

Road Trip

if you ever find yourself on the road from cheyenne, wy headed towards dallas, tx, i offer up a few road side attractions. you know, if you decide that garden of the gods is too mainstream. grab that super soaker (i’m assuming you’ve stopped and gotten yourself one or two of these for the ride), gas up the car, hit the sonic on the way out of town and convince yet another poor, unsuspecting soul to don roller skates while serving you a hot dog, and blaze south.

a mere 432 miles away from cheyenne in jackson, wy? the world’s largest BALL OF BARBED WIRE!!! that has got to be seen. i wonder if it’s rusty. you’ll tell me if it is, right?

but if that’s too far, in douglas, wy, which is ONLY 128 miles out of the way, you can find the world’s largest jackalope. he’s probably related to pedro at the mecca. cousins or somesuch. drop in. tell him hey from pedro and me. oh, and gunnison. gunnison lives in hillary’s art room. he still weeps for pedro on occasion when he recalls the dusty trucker hat and mardi gras beads put on to amuse the dallas tourists. i stroke his fur and tell him pedro does what he has to in order to survive in the big city. it soothes him. some.

trinidad, co is the former sex change capitol of the world! the doctor who performed these surgeries has been featured on south park. he’s dead now. or he moved. or people go somewhere fancier for the penisectomies. i kinda wandered off in the middle of that paragraph. oops. also, lincoln and lj of prison break found a safe house there. you could try to locate it. could be hard. it’s all secret and safe. oh, and some guy named john elway calls trinidad home. whatevs.

were you aware that in lakewood, co you can dine in a mine, or watch indoor cliff divers while seranaded by a mariachi band at casa bonita?!?!?! that is if you have the wherewithall to resist heading over to mosca for the gators reptile park. *sigh* if only there were time to do it all… i guess gators are better viewed in louisiana with the swamp people. another trip?

in new mexico you should take a short side trip to sandia park and find tinkertown: “The inspiration of the carnival funhouse is easy to see in Tinkertown. Halls are narrow, walls are uneven, rooms wander willy-nilly, clutter is crammed onto every surface, including the ceilings and floors: tools, bones, horseshoes, farm and mining relics, old lanterns and license plates.” if only i could go there with you! my girly squees and gnat-like attention span would fill those narrow hallways with glee.

claude, tx? home to the oldest once living cowboy in the american west. tom blasingame (1898-1989). ‘cuz, ya know, cowboys are wicked awesome. also, claude was previously known as armstrong city, but this juice bag claude who did blah, blah, blah for the city REQUESTED they change it and name it after him. hello? into yourself much? juice bag! istanbul not constantinople. maybe claude was a turk?

it’ll be difficult for you to resist, but i’m begging you. flat out pathetic pleading! on my knees in front of you, staring up wide-eyed awaiting your agreement. do not go here without me! san antonio, tx. buckhorn saloon and museum. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/9181


the last one? for once you arrive in dallas? i CANNOT believe we didn’t go see this when i was there. i may cray and cry and whine if we don’t go. the dallas zoo hosts a 67.5 ft giraffe statue. it’s the tallest in all of texas. statue that is. giraffe too, i suppose.






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